This post was written by Dan Tudor. He is the founder of Selling for Coaches, a training program that teaches advanced recruiting and communication skills to college coaches and athletic departments around the country. He will be blogging about recruiting training for Double-A Zone. Click here for more information about the company.

Seldom do observers of the college recruiting process get the kind of blow-by-blow details that were offered up by the New York Times a few days ago.

Times' writer Thayer Evans followed the recruitment of top-rated Texas high school football prospect Jamarkus McFarland and wrote an extensive piece on the harried final days leading up to McFarland's decision to attend Oklahoma over their rivals at Texas.

Most college sports fans read the article with an eye towards the drama of the high-stakes recruiting process in college football. But if college coaches read between the lines of this amazingly candid recruiting story, they'll find several important lessons that they can take with them into their own recruiting battles.

1. Much of the time, it comes down to the parents.

The New York Times article reveals this first important rule in recruiting:

In the end, his decision came down to trusting his mother and his grandmother, Bobbie Jean Adams. "I've followed my mother and grandmother's advice for all my life," McFarland said. "I know they don't want bad for me."

Two summers ago, we conducted a study of how 250 of the country's top football recruits were going to make their final decision as to which offer to accept. One of the discoveries was that 91% of the time, these top prospects rated the opinions of their parents as either "important" or "very important" outside factors in terms of their final decision on where to attend school.

With this fact in mind, the question we often ask coaches at the recruiting skills workshops we lead is, "Coach, what are you doing to recruit the parent?" The article points out several ways the Oklahoma staff connected with, and recruited, McFarland's mother and grandmother. It's no surprise to me to hear that in the end, Jamarkus did what so many other recruits do: They go to their parents to help them make their final decision.

2.Coaches should never give up on the recruit they really want.

When Jamarkus and his mother first visited Oklahoma's campus, she didn't like it and swore that she would never set foot in the town again.

A lot of other coaches would have written off the prospect after the way the first meeting ended, but not Oklahoma assistant coach Jackie Shipp.

Shipp, a former N.F.L. player and one of the country's top recruiters, appeared unfazed. He smiled, leaned into her tan sport utility vehicle and promised to e-mail her daily, which is allowed under N.C.A.A. rules.

Shipp delivered on his promise. He sent her e-mail messages every day, building the foundation for what would become a friendship.

Coach Shipp reinforces the first point I made about focusing substantial time on understanding the parent of his prospect. In addition, he also showed maturity by not being fazed by the early hesitations McFarland and his mom had towards Oklahoma. He promised to prove that they were the right choice, and he didn't give up on his commitment to invest real time in getting to know his prospects - and making sure they got to know him.

3. Stay connected to prospects.

I've heard lots of coaches tell me over the years that sometimes they think a prospect might enjoy a break from the constant contacts and recruitment. In the vast majority of cases, that's not true! In this kind of high-stakes recruiting battle, prospects and their parents are looking for reasons to cross programs off their list. If you take a break - even with the best of intentions or most logical reasons - you risk being eliminated from contention for that student-athlete.

4. It all comes down to the campus visit.

Our study also showed that prospects' top criteria for making their final decision was what the coach said to them in person, and how they were treated by their potential future teammates.

I often describe campus visits like this: Your prospects are visiting campus to find out why they should cross your school off their list. They aren't there to be wowed by all of your school's wonderful attributes, they are there to figure out what's wrong with you, your players, and your school

Campus visits can make you or break you. Just remember that more often than not, your prospects are there to figure out why they shouldn't make you their top choice. If you take that attitude into planning a campus visit for your next prospect, I'll guarantee you that it will look and feel differently than your past campus visits.

In McFarland's case, Oklahoma won the recruiting battle. Texas recruiting shouldn't be criticized; they have proven, quite consistently, that they run a top-flight program and are proven recruiting pros.

However, lessons can be learned from almost every recruiting situation - whether they are detailed accounts published in a leading newspaper, or the thousands of less publicized encounters that are known only to the coaching staffs that experience them up close and personal. Just like in coaching, you need to learn from your recruiting mistakes and develop a better plan of attack for today's generation of teenage recruits.