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Coaches' Corner: Volleyball Coach Works To Balance Family, Work - Sep 14, 2006 | 12:01:41
posted by: Josh
Texas A&M-Kingsville volleyball coach Jane Kieschnick discusses some of the obstacles she faces as a college coach raising three teenagers. I???ve been coaching for more than 20 years. I???ve never done anything else. Never wanted to do anything else. So, why am I questioning my career choice now? Time???
I am the mother of three kids, Dena,17, Jake, 15, and Ann, 12. I am also the head volleyball coach at Texas A&M University-Kingsville, a Division II university in South Texas. When my children were younger, I was married and a high school coach. Practice times were not much different from what I have now, but the time and travel demands were so much simpler. My kids were always in the gym, attended games, knew how to shag balls, ride on a bus, and sometimes sleep in the coaches??? office. My children were also younger then. The only thing we had to worry about was homework and Little Dribbler basketball one night a week for the oldest. Now, all three kids have loads and loads of homework, full athletic schedules and social lives. Last week, Dena had games on Tuesday and Friday night, Jake and Ann on Thursday night as well as Ann having a tournament on Saturday. I had games on Monday and Wednesday nights, and fortunately for them, I didn???t have matches over the weekend. So, I actually got to see Ann???s games. When conference starts this week, I will no longer get to see Jake???s Thursday night games or Dena???s Saturday matches. And, unless I leave practice early, I will not get to see Ann???s Monday night games??? I???ve always been proud of the fact that I could juggle lots of things at the same time, but lately it seems as if I???ve got balls scattered everywhere. I???ve left practice early two days to catch Ann???s first ever volleyball matches. And, I???ve been able to make two of Jake???s games and several of Dena???s games. I told my team and assistant coach ahead of time that I would be doing so. I had never before left or missed a practice or game for one of my own children???s games. It was understood that when I was in season, I would make what I could for my kids, and when out of season, I would make everything. But what happens when my kids??? only ???season??? is during my season? What happens when band or choir concerts don???t coincide with volleyball season? And, what message am I sending my players, my assistant, my own children? It really hit me one day when one of my players said, ???Gee coach, you sure picked the wrong career (to be a mom).??? I was teaching them that work came first and family came second. That???s not something I am very proud of. But sometimes work does come first. It just shouldn???t be all of the time. As of this moment, I am reevaluating how to put my family first. All of the time. Not just when it???s the off-season. Yes, I have to provide for them. I have to work hard, do a good job, earn a living. But I also have to learn when to say when. Learn when to say no. So, now when I go home at the end of the day, I no longer continue to work when I get home. I wait until after dinner is over, my kids are in bed or on to another project. I try to consolidate my recruiting calls all on one night or when they are involved in other activities. Planning is a necessity! When they need me, I need to be mentally present as well as physically. Even if it means working on school work between 10 p.m.- midnight or from 5 a.m. ??? 7 a.m. Or even doing the laundry, cleaning or grocery shopping then. And, as far as making my children???s activities, I cannot change when my conference games are scheduled, but I can work around practices. I can make changes in what is flexible. I am fortunate to work for a school and administration that allows flex time. They know we have long hours of practicing and planning. They see us in the morning after weight workouts, where we???ve already been hard at it before the rest of the world is awake. Or after practice in the afternoon, when we are headed back to the office to get ready for the next day. And they know our road trips take us away from home four days at a time. I am also fortunate to live close to family that helps out with my kids. And have had the help of friends as well. The one thing I am learning to do is let them help me. I haven???t mastered all the things I want to master yet, like cleaning off my desk, having a spotless house and being a better mom. But I am learning to delegate, learning not to sweat the small stuff. And, finally, I am learning it is okay to put my family???s activities first once in a while. I want my players to know the team is important and my commitment to them is important. But, I also want them to know family is important. That you can be committed to your job and still be a good mom. Should be a good mom! 
CommentsWow! This story was very interesting. It must be so difficult and frustrating to juggle all those things at once; I could never do it. Jane is right when she mentioned you should put family first because family will be there for you when work would not. If you love what you do then it becomes harder to put other things first. She has family and work - both she loves to death - but when it is time to choose, it does become harder for her or anybody. I am sure she has times when she???s alone and probably breaks down because things/life becomes so difficult. It is always better when you have other people to care and be there for you - I know it is for me. Friends and family are people you should cherish forever. They love you as much as you love them and will always be there for you. I respect Jane Kieschnick for her hard work as a head coach and mother. She knows when she has made a mistake or when she needs to change her schedule and that is very good. She realizes for the rest of her career she is going to have to make changes and decisions along the way. It might hurt her, it may be good for her, but either way she will still have her heart...the love for her team and her team at home! I definitely feel like this article represents all females and males that have families or are anticipating having families in the future. As I get older and further into the coaching world, the idea of coaching and raising a family seems all the more difficult. I find it so inspiring to see female and male coaches push through these times and find that balance of being a great successful coach and mom (or dad). I would also have to agree that a lot of male coaches have these similar problems. I currently work for and have worked for male coaches that are struggling to find the balance between family and work, however, they have set nothing but great examples for me. It seems that as kids get older and restraints on family time become more difficult the thing that suffers the most is the ability to pay attention to detail both at home and on the floor (or field). The details that are missed always seem to be the ones that matter the most! I respect any coach that can find that balance and appreciate the great examples that they set for me and the rest of the young coaches!! This is a great article on life work balance. It is tough and I too find it hard to manage both, being a mother of two. My team understands that my family comes first but they are my second family and if something comes up at home they understand. To have a great support staff is what you need and if you surround yourself with great people and an understanding boss it is possible. I lead by example so if they go into the coaching profession I know they will do a great job. Post a Comment |
  
It means that two very good teams with very good coaches made it to the final game.
- Marie
   
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